We arrive at the one-year anniversary of the weekend the nightmare began of Zack refusing to be with his dad Sam (and Sam’s parents and me). It’s a year later and despite court involvement, nothing has changed. Sam is keeping track of the days and at last count, it’s been over 120 days of missed time together. (Scroll down to see the archive of posts beginning in May 2017.)
Brief recap: Memorial Day 2017 was DAD’s holiday on the custody order, but Zack’s Mom’s family, the Smithies, had a big party planned and 12 year old Zack chose, with his mother’s blessing, to reject Dad and stay with them. The yearlong pattern of contact denial begins.
LAST WEEK, 16 May 2018, there was finally an actual court appearance. Although called a “contempt trial,” there was no trial, no contempt decision or sentence, and the only action was a stern(?) reminder that Missy had better start complying with the guardian ad litem’s recommended schedule — Zack with Sam on Wednesday nights 5:30-8:30pm and every other Saturday 10am to 8pm. She starts complying or what? More of the court’s finger wagging and empty threats and attorney fees until Zack turns 18 in five years?
Since Zack’s baseball games are often on Wednesday nights, it is assumed that those days are forfeited as they fall right in the window of what would be Sam’s parenting time. There was no discussion about this. Zack just shows up at his game with the Smithie camp, barely acknowledges his dad and the Baker grandparents, and leaves with his Mom & Co.
Which brings us to Memorial Day weekend 2018, which will be the first Saturday since the recent court appearance that is “Dad’s Saturday” based on the standard weekend rotation, which has been ignored for months, but is now to be followed under the fresh threat of consequences.
Here’s where this story gets even crazier if you’ve stayed with me this far.
Months ago, Sam was selected to present at an international conference in Toronto this weekend. The trip was booked, but there was always the undercurrent of “Should I go if there are potential strides with Zack?” and “Will they use it against me if Zack claims he was willing to be with me, but I was out of the country?” (We know the answer to that. Missy has played that card before. Another story.) Sam decided early this week to cancel the trip and sacrifice his opportunity to make a professional impression with this conference appearance, since this is the first Saturday which falls under the new legal dictate, or let’s say realistically, guideline. In other words, Sam believed time with his son would FINALLY happen, and nothing else matters.
Sam received word from Missy yesterday that she has no intention of Zack being with Sam this weekend because…
According to the custody order that she’s been dismissing for a year…
Memorial Day 2018 is MOM’s holiday weekend.
THIS, ladies and gentlemen, is one glimpse of what successful parental alienation looks like.